Remembering Left Eye

Nine years ago today, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes was instantly killed in a head on collosions in Honduras. When someone so beautiful, so gifted, so sweet, and so sincere is snatched away so quickly, you often find yourself questioning life. With all the bad folks in the world, why does it seem the good ones are stolen from us so early?

In memory of compassionate humanitarian, a wonderful woman and a sick emcee, please enjoy 9 of my favorite joints featuring Left Eye. I hope you enjoy these throwback videos as much as I did! 🙂

Your Dead Child Will Live!

My heart goes out to parents who have loss a child. I can only imagine the unbearable pain they endure. Whether you lose your kids to death, drugs, the streets, prison, etc., it has to be a devastating blow to the parents. You raise your kids. You teach them right from wrong and give them the best. You have all of these wonderful visions for their lives…milestones that you expect to share: birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc. Then, in the flash of a light, it’s all snatched away. It’s all gone. All of those moments you anticipated sharing with them are stolen. Your child is dead!

True loss of life is one thing. But what if your child is dead to you, but still alive and breathing? What do you do when your words mean nothing? When their hate and disdain for you shuts out your love for them? Or when their love for quick money, drugs, sex, and sins appears to overpower the unconditional love you give them daily? That’s when you stand…and that’s when you pray.

When I think of this type of parenting dilemma, Ted William’s mother comes to mind. She spent years watching drugs and alcohol drag her son from the top of his career down to an intersection exit. I can only imagine the hurt she felt from loving someone who, through action, didn’t love themselves. The pain of wanting better for someone than they wanted for themselves. The sleepless nights of wondering about his life, his safety, and his future. Yet somehow, she was able to continue her life despite of her son being a part of the living dead.

I pray that, as a parent, you never have to endure this type of lost, hurt, or pain, but in the unfortunate case that you do, below are some scriptures I think you will find useful. Whether you continue to have day-to-day contact with your child or not, continue to pray for them daily, continue to love them unconditionally, and be ready to welcome them back into your arms WHEN they return. Remember, it’s not about what you see in the natural. Our battle is a spiritual one against evil and dark spirits (Ephesians 6:12).  This battle is for your child’s soul, life, and purpose. However, while you are battling for that one, don’t forget to praise and live for the kids who are home and doing right and well.

As a parent, I can only imagine how God feels. As our Father, He loves us and gives us the world. Yet we are so often His rebellious and disobedient kids who refuse to see or do things his way. We break His heart time after time, yet get upset and distraught when our kids do the same to us. Interesting, right?

I hope you enjoy these verses on bringing wayward children back into the submission of the Almighty:

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed (2 Corinthians 4:7-9).

My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous (1 John 2:1).

He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior (Titus 3:5-6).

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal (2 Corinthians 4:16-18).

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me (John 14:6).

When Israel was a child, I loved him, and out of Egypt I called my son (Hosea 11:1).

Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the bottomless pit and a great chain. And he seized the dragon, that ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years, and threw him into the pit, and shut it and sealed it over him, so that he might not deceive the nations any longer, until the thousand years were ended. After that he must be released for a little while (Revelation 20:1-3).

Women received back their dead by resurrection. Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life (Hebrews 11:35). 

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water (Hebrews 10:22).

In hope of eternal life, which God, who never lies, promised before the ages began (Titus 1:2).

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12).

“‘After this I will return, and I will rebuild the tent of David that has fallen; I will rebuild its ruins, and I will restore it, that the remnant of mankind may seek the Lord, and all the Gentiles who are called by my name, says the Lord, who makes these things (Acts 15:16-17). 

The godly walk with integrity; blessed are their children who follow them (Proverbs 20:7).

Ears to hear and eyes to see—both are gifts from the Lord (Proverbs 20:12).

 Physical punishment cleanses away evil; such discipline purifies the heart (Proverbs 20:30).

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns (Philippians 1:6).

The entire 51^st Psalm.

And don’t forget the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32.

 I will be in prayer for you and yours as you continue to be in prayer for me and mine. 🙂 And remember, God never ends on a negative. This too shall pass. Your child shall live again.

Throwback Saturdays: Toni (and Tamar) Braxton

Throwback Saturdays: Toni (and Tamar) Braxton In case you missed it, Braxton Family Values premiered on WE tv Tuesday night, and you really should’ve been watching. The show follows the lives of Grammy Award-winning artist Toni Braxton, her four sisters, Trina, Tamar, Traci, and Towanda, and their mother and illustrates the dynamics of relationships when work, play, and family are involved.

I learned two things watching the show:

1) Baby sister Tamar is a DRAMA QUEEN!!! This child is the epitome of a DIVA!!!! She comes off as so jealous of Toni’s success it’s kind of sad. While she is still waiting on Toni’s level of success, she has had a number of projects of her own. Here’s a video from her 2000 solo album, Tamar.

2) All of the sisters sung back up for Toni Braxton when she was first signed to LaFace Records. I miss the LaFace Records era: Toni Braxton, TLC, Outkast. Great music! You can see the five sisters in Toni’s “Seven Whole Days” video below.

Give Gucci His Free(dom)!!!!

Atlanta Rapper Gucci Mane with his Blinged Out Bart Simpson Chain

The AJC released some devastating news yesterday. With only $5,700 standing between him and freedom, Mr. Lemonade himself was still locked up a week after being arrested (Vibe.com)! This can’t be Gucci’s life?!?!?

Gucci was arrested April 8 for violating his probation. The accusation: shoving a 36 year old hairdresser out a moving car on January 28^th. According to police reports, Diana Graham was at South Dekalb Mall when Gucci asked if she wanted to have breakfast. She agreed and hopped in the front seat of his Hummer. After they had gotten a ways from the mall, Gucci revealed his evil plan. He wanted to pay Graham $150 to have sex with him at a hotel. The female victim declined and asked to be taken back to the mall. Gucci opted to shove Graham out the moving vehicle instead. Logical choice, right? 

Other than the obvious, violence against women, there are a few things that bother me about the entire situation.

Gucci and Mariah

1) Gucci is paying for booty. I was under the impression that once you attained a certain level of notoriety and success women gave up the booty off GP (general principle). I didn’t realize rappers of Gucci’s notoriety were paying for quickies. Seriously, you may not have any love for Gucci, but this guy has made hits with Mariah Carey, Usher, and Lil Wayne!!! He’s kind of important. On top of that he picked this woman up from South Dekalb Mall! This is Gucci’s hometown fan base! You can’t tell me there wasn’t a chick in South Dekalb willing to go home with Gucci Mane for free!!!!

Did Gucci think South Dekalb Mall sold women at discounted prices too?

2) $150, doe?!?!?!? I would like to preface this statement by saying absolutely no price should be placed on a woman’s body. We, or our bodies, are not commodities to be bought or sold, and any such practices should be firmly dealt with by law enforcement agencies. However, if you were to put a price on a woman’s body, $150 is just INSULTING…even for the most ratchet of women!!! Seriously, how are you going to be “So Icy,” yet only offer a Benjamin and a half and a cheap hotel for sex? I get it. You don’t love dem hoes, but isn’t this going against your reputation as a baller? At least offer enough cash that when word gets out in the hood, folks will think you’re really balling. $150?!?!? BOI STOP!!!!!

We need your help, sir?

 3) The gas is TOO DANG HIGH!!!! You know gas is too high when Gucci’s opts to push a lady out a moving car instead of returning her to the location he scooped her from. It’s probably cheaper to go back to jail for a state vacation than it would’ve been to fill up the Hummer after Graham refused participate in Gucci’s extra-curricular activities. Come on, Obama! Do something about these gas prices! Black royalty like Gucci is being unfairly incarcerated because gas is just too dang high! Can you help us out, sir?!?!

Got bail?!?!?!

4) Where is Flocka dem?!?!?! Waka’s running around yelling “It’s a Party!!!” How about he use some of that party money to bail his man out of jail! I’m a teacher, and I don’t make much money, but if $5,700 was standing between my homey and freedom, I could hustle it up. So why isn’t anyone hustling it up for Gucci? Hell, why hasn’t Gucci bailed himself out? Dude, could’ve pawned the title on that Hummer or that canary yellow watch that cost more than my house! Something ain’t right with this.

The infamous Hummer

5) Gucci’s lyrics just don’t mean the same thing anymore. Seriously, I heard “Then I get some brain in the front seat of the Hummer” (“Freaky Girl”), and was waiting for the next line where he pushes her from the moving vehicle. Cleary, sir, if you were oh, so icy, you would’ve sold a chain and bailed yourself out of jail. Lemon pepper wings and a freeze cup are probably the ONLY  yellow things you’ve seen lately because you could’ve traded a couple of canary diamonds for your freedom by now. My last question is what money is Gucci making love to? A jar of quarters?!?!? Atlanta strippers better watch out before Gucci makes it hail in the club and give them all a concussion!

What about you?

6) With all this said, who’s got $5 on Gucci’s bail? We can’t allow black royalty like Gucci to waste away in county jail! We have to get him back on these streets so he can produce some summer anthems for the community. For real doe, an inmate might get hungry, see that ice cream on the side of his face, and lick Gucci or something. We must give Gucci his free!!!

Check out a few Gucci songs below.

Hello, Fear!

For as long as I can remember I have had a hard time accepting compliments. For some reason, People complimenting me makes me uncomfortable. Instead of responding with the proper thank you, I usually choose some type of self-deprecating humor. I’ve been like this for as long as I can remember. I’m honestly not sure why I do this, but I know it’s something I would like to change.

In addition to not being able to take a compliment, I also recently realized that I have a hard time letting good things happen to me. Take this morning for example. I was calling V103 to win their Free Money Kitty. After receiving numerous busy signals, the phone was finally ringing, and that ring freaked me out!!! I almost hung up! What do I say when they answer? What if I actually win? This can’t be happening! Not to me! All of these thoughts ran through my mind, fear and anxiety filled my heart, and I just wanted to run away from the situation.

The same thing happens when I get job offers, big interviews, and meet ridiculously fine men. It’s like I feel like I don’t deserve for good things to happen to me. It’s like I have to destroy this promising thing before someone or something else does. I can handle it if I end it, but if someone else does it will break my heart broken…and just might break me.

While I don’t know where this attitude of self-destruction came from, I do know it’s not from God. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that God has plans to prosper me, so if it’s His plan to prosper me, I have to learn to accept the stuff He has waiting on me. I can’t allow negative thoughts and words to talk me out of my blessing. I have to gain the confidence to walk BOLDLY into my blessings.

So I am making the decision NOW, to walk boldly into the opportunities placed before. No more fear or doubt for me. My confidence has nothing to do with my faith in me, but it has everything to do with the faith I have in the One Who has gifted me and opened the doors of opportunity. My confidence comes from Him.

So from this point on, I’m saying Hello, Fear, and then respectfully busting that trick in the nose.

Throwback Saturday: Mya

It’s funny how a song can take you to a specific time in your life. Every time I hear this song I go back to summer/fall 2000. It was my freshman year at Spelman, and Market Friday was the place to be. Boys were rocking jersey and doo-rags and girls were chain belts and jersey dress (not necessarily at the same time). Jay-Z was still chasing skirts, and Mya was still a size four. Seems like forever ago. Hope you enjoy!

This song takes me back even further.  It was the summer before 11th grade. I was working at Karen’s Orange Bowl in the mall and whipping my parents’ green Mercedes Benz like it was mine. I loved that car. I had the single of this song. You know the $0.99 disc with the song and it’s instrumental. I blasted the single on repeat the entire ride to and from work. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t grown. LOL.

What You Should Know About a Government Shutdown

 

There’s plenty of talk about a potential government shutdown, but how would a government shutdown affect you. Below are the answers to the questions you’ve been asking:

• What Causes a Federal Government Shutdown? Congress must authorize and the President must approve the spending of federal funds. If an agreement cannot be met, all non-essential entities of the federal government must cease. Congress has been unable to agree on a budget for this fiscal year, and if they do not come to an agreement by Friday at midnight the government will “shutdown.” This won’t be the first time we’ve had a government shutdown.

 

• What Are Non-Essential Entities of the Government? Non-essential entities that will cease operating include national parks and museums. The Federal Housing Administration and the Small Business Administration will cease processing loans and the IRS will not process paper returns or refunds. Approximately 800,000 federal employees will be furloughed and won’t be paid during a government shutdown. For a full list of what services will not be functioning, click here.

 

• Will Congress and the President Still Receive Paychecks? While 800,000 federal employees will cease to receive paychecks, members of Congress and the President w still receive their checks. However, the congressional staff would likely be furloughed.

 

• What Will Happen to Oversees Troops, Homeland Security, and Federal Law Enforcement Agencies? While pay to troops could be delayed and some civilian employees of the Department of Defense could be furloughed, ongoing military operation would continue. The federal government would still continue monitoring terrorists and prisoners. Law enforcement and the monitoring of coastlines and borders would also continue.

 

• Will State Governments and U.S. Territories be Affected? If the government is shutdown for a prolonged period of time it could slow federal funds being distributed to state governments and cause complications or furloughs on the state level as well. Illinois for example receives $77 million a day for various programs. Because the state does not have the money to temporary fund these projects and programs, they may be furloughed as well. Puerto Rico is heavily depended on federal funds. If the federal government shutdown last longer than a week, it could be detrimental to Puerto Rico’s 11,000 federal employees.

Update (4/8/11 at 1:02 pm): Correction–Illinois receives $77 million a day for projects.

Five Things We Wish Would Go Away With a Government Shutdown

Courtesy of Zazzle.com

With the government on the verge of a shutdown, everyone’s nervous about what will happen next. However, aren’t there a few things you wish would disappear with the government? Yeah, yeah, we need structure and all that good stuff, but if the government has to shutdown, these five things should go with it.

#5 No Child Left Behind: Teachers would LOVE it if a government shutdown caused this poorly written and awfully executed Act of Congress disappeared forever. Maybe then we could go back to teaching curriculum instead of teaching tests. An overworked, underpaid teacher can dream, right?

#4 The Wars/Military Engagements: Wouldn’t it be nice if a government shutdown would bring our troops home and out of the war zones. Unfortunately, it won’t. 😦 Still praying for you guys!

#3 Congress’ Salaries: You would think that with the government shutdown there would be no reason to pay Congress all their $174,000 annual salary. Unfortunately, we’re not that lucky. The hardworking, intelligent, and caring individuals (yes, that was sarcasm) who govern us will still receive their paychecks if the government shuts down, even though military troops will lose one weeks pay in their next check (dnj.com).

#2 FICA & Social Security: Wouldn’t it be nice to get a check with no deductions? No money going to folks you don’t know. I know that would add an extra $500 or so to my check every month, and I could use that.

#1 Donald Trump: You’re loud, boisterous, and annoying. The only reason we give you any time is because you provide us with the Sunday night coonery known as Celebrity Apprentice. But sir, we don’t like you, we don’t respect you, and we don’t want you to be our President. Please go away, sir!!!!

Enjoy this lovely clip of Donald Trump.

Friends, Betrayal, & Destiny

“After saying these things, Jesus was troubled in his spirit, and testified, ‘Truly, truly, I say to you, one of you will betray me.’ The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he spoke. One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table close to Jesus, so Simon Peter motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So that disciple, leaning back against Jesus, said to him, ‘Lord, who is it?’ Jesus answered, ^‘It is he to whom I will give this morsel of bread when I have dipped it.’ So when he had dipped the morsel, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. Then after he had taken the morsel, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, ‘What you are going to do, do quickly” (John 13:21-27).

Betrayal is a hard pill to swallow…especially when it comes from those closets too you. This past August I was betrayed. And the thing that hurt the worse about the entire situation was it came from individuals who were closets to me. Folks whose kids I had cared for like my own. People whom I had chosen to work with me. And individuals who were suppose to have my back through thick and thin. I was angry…and I wanted to lash out. I wanted to verbalize how I really felt, to expose what had really happened, and to get it all off my chest, but every time I opened my mouth, God tied my tongue. 

If you know me, you know I have NO problem expressing myself. Seriously, this blog is entitled Kia Speaks for a reason. I have no problem speaking my mind. So for me to keep my mouth closed on this particular issue was nothing short of an act of God. Even as I type this now, I want to name names, put people on blast, and let those involved know I knew EVERYTHING and EXACTLY what was going on…but God!

The thing that keeps me from being bitter and angry about the situation is that I know God set it up to be a learning experience for me. I was the leader…the BAWSE. However, the team I chose was weak. They were self-serving, messy, lazy, manipulative and disloyal. Sadly, I must confess, I knew this from the beginning. But no one else wanted the job, so I thought, “What the hell. I’ll let them along for the ride, take on the responsibility, and make it work anyway.” In hindsight, I would’ve been better off by myself than working with people who didn’t share my vision and my values.

Right know I’m preparing to grab the BAWSE seat again. And it’s time to pick a team to ride to the top with me. I’ve learned from my past experiences, so I’m being extremely more considerate as I pick this time. The first thing I did was go to God, and ask Him to show me my team. And like always, He was quiet. I questioned whether He would show up on time. And of course He did. He spoke through the sermon ministered during Sunday service.

The message was about betrayal and picking your team. I left with a clear criterion of who I should allow to walk with me to the next level. Here are some points I wanted to share with you:

• God’s taking you somewhere, and He wants you to be able to stand. To ensure you can stand, you must have a solid team.

 

• What causes so many of us to fail is the betrayal of those around us. Not all of your friends can go with you. Look at your team. Who is not supposed to be with you?

 

• Betrayal is the act of being handed over to the hand of the enemy treacherously by someone close to you. Be careful who you give that much access to you.

 

• Everyone you walk with is supposed to be someone to help you get to your divine destiny. Your time is valuable. Don’t hang with people/waste your time with people you shouldn’t be with.

 

• Your words are valuable. You paid a price for the wisdom you have. Don’t hang with people who don’t value your words. And don’t hang with people who don’t have a word for you.

 

• You are no better than the people around you. You are no better than your immediate company. What does your company say about you? If you are going somewhere, how dare you hang with folks who aren’t going anywhere? Your future can be predicted by the people you talk to and hang with the most.

 

• Don’t let people hang with you if you can’t talk to them and reveal your heart to them. Only take people with you who you can be transparent with.

 

• Don’t surround yourself with people who just take from you. Find some people who pour into you as well. No parasites allowed!!!

 

• You need folks who are competent and have character. They need knowledge and morals—wisdom and values.

 

• You need folks who will cover you when you’re not there. If they allow people to talk about you when you’re not in the room, they are not your friends.

 

• The wrong person on your team could wreck your life. You don’t need people around who have a private agenda.

 

• Your real enemy is not who you think it is. Your real enemy is sitting close by you. Check your friends.

 

• Where you’re going you can’t afford to have people rise up and destroy what you’re doing. Everyone doesn’t need to come to your house. They don’t need that access to your house and what you have.

 

• The greatest compliment someone can give you is trust.

 

• Sign of betrayal–see how people act when you’re getting blessed. Look at folks’ faces while people are blessing you. Are they smiling or is their head held down? If they are not genuinely happy for you, cut them off. Judas was not happy when Mary poured the oil on Jesus’ feet (John 12). Envy starts long before betrayal. Don’t keep jealous folks around. God is about to take you somewhere big, and you can’t afford to take Judas with you. Don’t give him that access to you.

 

• You ought to be afraid of people who are welcome at your enemy camp. Why does my enemy like you and hate me? What’s up with that? How can you say you’re with me and still be with the folks against me?

 

• You can’t be with me and be neutral. The reason so many of us are stuck is because we have neutral people around us. Your spirit is in drive but the people around you are in neutral and won’t let you go.

 

• Too many people are getting killed because the covering/protection doesn’t realize who they are protecting.

 

• In life everyone’s going to be betrayed. But don’t let betrayers at your table, and don’t let a betrayal shut down your heart. Always keep your heart open and be ready to love.

 

• Let your betrayers know: Me and God will whip ALL of yall!!!!

Looking back on my situation what hurt the most was not the people making the accusations, but it was the people on my team who wouldn’t stand up for me and my character in the process of the accusations. I learned two things in that moment: 1) keep those who will go to war for you close by and 2) don’t be afraid to go to war for your people. Fight for your friends. Get out of neutral. Stand up when people speak against them. Till this day if I can’t fight for your character, I won’t call you my friend.

This blog is inspired by a message delivered by Bishop Eddie. L. Long at New Birth on Sunday, April 3rd.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: Sacrifice, Service, & You

“One day we will have to stand before the God of history, and we will talk in terms of things we’ve done. And it seems that I can hear the God of history saying, ‘That was not enough! But I was hunger, and you feed me not.’” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

I was chatting with one of my friends from Tunisia yesterday, and I asked him how things were there. His response was simple, yet powerful: “Tunisia is living a revolution and will get better sooner.” Surprisingly, his statement made me jealous. My friends in Tunisia are experiencing something I have never had the pleasure of living: a political and social movement that changes the face of a country.

I immediately began to wonder what it must feel like to live and witness moments that would be written in the world’s history book. I wanted that experience. I wanted those memories. I wanted to live history…but could I.

Would I be willing to stand and sacrifice for something bigger than myself? Would I be willing to risk my life for a freedom I may never see materialize? Would I be strong enough to fight when there was no end in sight?

While I hope and pray that the answer to all of these questions would be yes, I’m not 100% sure that it would be. I would even bet that most of the youth, who often mobilize these political and social movements, of today would waiver in their answers. Individuals of today are just too self-centered to provide long-term focus towards making the world around them a better place. If they weren’t, wouldn’t Barack Obama’s change campaign have produced more results?

Forty-three years ago today Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, Tenn. He was part of a revolution. He lived history. He worked to make the world around him a better place. He also paid a price for these experiences. He was martyred for a cause bigger than himself. His life was sacrificed for individuals whom he will never know. And his memorials remind us of a man that is no more.

When King was assassinated on April 4, 1968, he was preparing to march with 1,300 striking sanitation workers. He was fighting for the working poor, a group of individuals often overlooked and taken advantage of by our society.

Today the list of individuals that are victimized by society has grown extensively. My short list includes the middle class, urban youth, immigrants, and those affected long-term by natural and man-made disasters. Who is going to stand for them? Who is going to speak for those who can’t speak for themselves? Who is willing to sacrifice for someone else?

“Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for right” (MLK, Jr.). As we muster of the strength to pick up our cause and fight, I’m going to leave you with the prophetic speech given by Dr. King the night before he was murdered. Hopefully, it will provide you with the motivation to change this world we live in.

Yes, service costs! Dr. King was willing to pay the ultimate price. However, the question remains: are you willing to pay a fraction of that?